NEWS TO HELP MAKE YOUR LIFE A LITTLE EASIER 

STRESS & THE HOLIDAYS 

How Can You Deal With Continuing Family Problems During The Holidays?  

Being realistic is the first step. "If you have bad feelings about someone, try and avoid him or her and not make an issue of it but don't pretend that all is well. This will enable you to feel true to yourself and less stressed out."  

Do Financial Pressures Stress People Out to the Point of Ruining the Holiday Spirit?  

"Knowing your spending limit is also a way to relieve holiday stress. People believe that they have to go out and buy all these gifts because it's the holidays regardless of their real financial ability to do this. Not only is it stressful to feel that you have to buy everyone an expensive gift, but you'll be stressed for the rest of the year trying to pay off your bills."  

Don't have an idealized version of what one should be doing and should be spending. "Don't listen to the hype of 'if you really love your wife, your going to give her that diamond necklace,' when you can barely cover your mortgage or car payment. Recognize it as hype and necessary advertising that stores have to do to stay in business and that it is not necessarily about the holiday. You can show love and caring by getting something that you know is meaningful and personal for that person which doesn't have to cost a lot."  

How Do Time Pressures Affect People Around the Holidays?  

People shouldn't have to put their lives on pause or totally rearrange their schedules either because of the holidays. "We have to remember that we are all individuals and have our own way of doing things. You've got to tune out all the hype, all the idealized images of what home should be like, especially as seen in old movies like 'A Christmas Carol' or 'It's A Wonderful Life' and stay tuned to who you are."  

How Does a Person Deal With the Holidays When He or She Is Chronically Sick?  

"Christmas isn't any different than any other day for someone who is chronically ill. You still feel lousy. It is harder if the family is putting pressure on that person to be jovial or is in denial about the person's illness. It is helpful if the ill person can let family members know that Christmas doesn't cure the illness and that he or she is not a Scrooge for not feeling well."  

How Does a Person Deal With the Holidays When He or She Has Just Experienced A Recent Tragedy, Death or Romantic Break-Up?  

If someone is feeling really out of sorts because of any chronic or current stressors, like a death or recent romantic break-up, he or she may want to avoid some of the festivities because they are so out of sync with how that person is feeling. "If you are in this situation, try and articulate what you need from those around you -- since they may not know how to help you -- and ask for their understanding if you decline to engage in an activity."  

Is It Harder Or Easier Over the Holidays When Your Family Is Local or Lives in Another Area?  

Living in the same city with your family can be positive and negative. "If they live in the same city they are all around you but at least you can go home. Traveling can be stressful and really hard if you are staying with family that you don't get along with. If you do get along, holidays can be great because then your not seeing this as an obligation but as an opportunity to spend time with them."  

What Are Some Good Coping Strategies?  

There comes a point in the holiday season when you can't stand to hear one more Christmas song and are ready to deck someone's turtle dove, French hen and the perennial partridge himself. "People can handle this better by not having unrealistic expectations, by tuning out the idealistic version of Christmas and by turning off the radio and not watching every Christmas special. And you don't have to accept every party invitation either. Use discretion."  

How Do You Cope With Kids Who Want Everything For Christmas and Have No Sense of What Things Cost?  

Parents need to tell their children to be realistic. "It is OK to say to your child that a certain toy is too expensive. And even Santa Claus has limited funds and has to choose what to give because he has a very long list. You can also tell your children that Mom and Dad and Santa Claus will try to choose the most suitable present for the child. Children have to learn that their wish is not someone's command and to curb their desires for instant gratification."  

What Can You Tell Someone Who Is Dreading the Holidays?  

"Most people dread the holidays because their inner experience is so different from what is being hyped. You should trust your own instincts and don't try to be what you're not. Keep up your normal routine and know that this day will pass too."  

If, however, you are unable to shake what you think are "holiday blues" your feelings may not be about the holidays, but about other things in your life. If you need help in sorting out or dealing with this issue, a psychologist is a person with the training to help you do so.
WWW.ROCKTON.WS 

Mixes in a Jar 

Give a gift of warm cookies fresh from the oven! With this simple cookie mix, the lucky recipient will be able to whip up a batch of cookies in minutes.
INGREDIENTS:
• 2 cups flour
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1/4 cup ground oatmeal
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
• 1 cup chopped walnuts, if desired
PREPARATION:
Mix the flour with salt and baking soda and blend well. Layer the dry ingredients into a 1 quart jar, packing down so ingredients fit into the jar. Top with waxed paper and then chocolate chips and nuts.  

Cover tightly and label with this recipe:
To make Chocolate Chip Cookies:
1 container Chocolate Chip Cookie Mix
1 cup butter, softened
2 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Carefully remove chips and nuts from jar.
Beat butter in a large bowl until fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla and beat again. Beat in dry ingredients from cookie mix, except chocolate chips and nuts, into butter mixture until blended. Then stir in chocolate chips and nuts
Drop batter by spoonfuls, spaced 2" apart, onto a greased or parchment paper-lined cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 9-11 minutes or until lightly browned. Makes 4 dozen cookies.  

This fun recipe makes a great Christmas gift. Be sure to include the instructions, and tuck in a timer, a pot holder, and a decorative plate to hold the cookies.
INGREDIENTS:
• 2-3/4 cups flour
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 2 tsp. cream of tartar
• 1-1/2 cups sugar
PREPARATION:
In a large bowl, combine the ingredients and stir with a wire whisk until thoroughly blended. Store the mix in an airtight container.
To make cookies:
Snickerdoodles
1 cup butter, softened
2 eggs
1 recipe Snickerdoodle Cookie Mix
1/2 cup sugar
1 Tbsp.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl cream the butter until light, then add the eggs and beat until the mixture is smooth. Add the Snickerdoodle Mix and continue beating until the dough forms. Combine the sugar and cinnamon in a shallow bowl. Shape the dough into 1-inch balls and roll in the cinnamon-sugar mixture. Place on ungreased cookie sheets 2" apart. Bake at 350 degrees for 16 to 19 minutes, or until light gold. Transfer to wire racks to cool. Makes 60 cookies  

The ingredients for this wonderful candy recipe look simply beautiful layered in a glass jar] for Christmas presents! Plus, the candy is delicious.
INGREDIENTS:
• 1/3 cup miniature candy coated chocolate baking bits
• 1-1/3 cups rice cereal squares
• 1 cup peanuts
• 2/3 cup butterscotch chips
• 1/2 cup chocolate chips
PREPARATION:
In 1 quart jar, place 1/3 cup coated chocolate baking bits. Top with a layer of waxed paper or parchment paper. Place cereal squares and peanuts in layers on top. Then top with 1/2 cup chocolate chips and butterscotch chips, packing down lightly so everything fits in the jar.  

Cover tightly and store in cool dry place. Label with these instructions.
Instructions:
Chocolate Crunch
1/4 cup peanut butter
Container of Chocolate Crunch in a Jar
In medium saucepan, combine 1/4 cup peanut butter with chocolate chips and butterscotch chips. Melt over medium heat, stirring constantly, until smooth. Remove from heat and add cereal squares and peanuts. Drop by tablespoons onto parchment paper lined cookie sheets, then sprinkle with remaining baking bits in the jar that are under the parchment paper. Chill 10-15 minutes until set. 20 candies 

Linda Larsen
www.busycooks.about.com 

Gift Ideas for the Hard-to-Buy-For 

Bob Zakrzewski
December 1, 2004 

We’ve all been there. Standing in the mall, asking yourself “What in the world do I get for my In-Laws? They both have everything and need nothing.” Have no fear – this is one of the most common questions that we get during the holiday season. 

We’ve broken some ideas down into three personality types that are common among the hard-to-buy-for: ‘Likes to Laugh’, ‘Practical Minded’, and ‘Always Busy’. All of the items shown below are sold online. Next to each item, we’ve listed the website where it can be found. 

Likes to Laugh
These are people who have a great sense of humor and are into more unusual and light-hearted items. 

· 1 Acre of Land on the Moon – found at www.lunarlandowner.com
· A Christmas Story Leg Lamp (That famous lamp from the movie) – found at www.lighterside.com
· Backwards Clock (Like a normal one, just backwards) – found at www.gadgetbargains.com
· A Square Meter of Land in Australia (Protects the land from development) – found at www.greenglobe.com
· Bottle of Wine Glass (One glass that holds a whole bottle, for those people who only want “one” glass of wine) – found at www.lighterside.com 

Practical Minded
· Boston Lobster Bake Dinner for Two (Unbelievably convenient and delicious) – found at www.lobsteranywhere.com
· Deluxe Digital Coin Sorter (Fast and easy way to sort and roll coins) – found at www.CleverGear.com
· Oprah Winfrey Monthly Book Picks (Sends one Oprah pick per month) – found at www.bestsellers-monthly-book-connection.com 

Always Busy
· Meal of the Month Club (Make someone’s life a little easier each month) – found at www.flyingnoodle.com
· Personalized Stationery of the Month Club (Make it easier for them to keep in touch) – found at www.greetingsbythedozen.com
· A Day at the Beach Executive Sandbox (If they can’t take that beach vacation, at least now they can have part of the beach at their desk) – found at www.areyougame.com 

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Bob Zakrzewski and Anne Payton of FindGift.com
November 23, 2004 

Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations - gift buying never goes out of season. Whether its gifts for kids, parents, in-laws, neighborhood friends, co-workers, baby sitters… How do we manage? 

Relax, shopping does not have to be stressful. Here are 3 tips to help reduce stress that will put you back in the driver's seat. 

Tip #1 – Record those moments of creativity.
For many people, trying to come up with gift ideas this is a big contributor to shopping stress. What’s interesting is most people do have great gift ideas. Though, these winning ideas usually come at the wrong time – they tend to come out of nowhere when you are not even looking to buy a gift for that person.  

Here’s the secret… Grab a pad of legal paper. On the top of each page, write down one person on your shopping list. Then, store that legal pad in a convenient spot. Now, whenever you think of a great idea, jot down the idea and the store where you saw it. 

Shoot for coming up with 1 gift idea a day. Then, when shopping time rolls around, you will already have your plan of attack! 

Or, you can go 21st century by moving your “gift ideas list” online. That way, you will have the added advantage of being able to easily access your gift list at home, work, or anywhere with Internet access. In fact, FindGift.com has a free service called Gift Bookmarks that makes creating an organized online shopping list easy to do. 

Tip #2 – Be a detective.
The champion gift givers give gifts with meaning. Simply put, this means knowing a little about the recipient and their likes/dislikes and choosing gift that shows them you know them.  

A little bit of homework can go along way toward making someone feel special. When you’re at their house, look around to get a feel for the things they collect or general themes in their décor. Take notice of their leisure activities. Are they into the theatre? What type of music do they like? Do they like to travel? Or, what types of books/magazines do they like to read? Perhaps, they are a nature lover. 

Once you find answers to these questions, coming up with great ideas is a snap! 

Tip #3 – Be prepared.
To save yourself a few frenzied, last minute trips to the mall, have a small stash of gifts on reserve ready bring at a moments notice to an unexpected gathering. 

Choose items that are more generic in nature that can be safely given to most people. For kids, a couple of arts and craft kits will work well for boys and girls of many ages. For adults, a bottle of wine or champagne works for many. Home baked cookies, banana or pumpkin breads, or a high end box of French chocolates are also good bets. 

The big reward for your organizing effort: all the energy you save can be spent enjoying this special time of the year with family and friends. 

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“Bosses are people, too!” : Choosing gifts for Bosses Day and the Holidays 

October 12, 2004 

National Bosses Day was first celebrated in 1958 when Patricia Bays Haroski, of Deerfield, Ill., registered the holiday with the Chamber of Commerce of the United States. October 16th was chosen for the holiday because it was the birthday of her boss at a State Farm Insurance agency. Her boss at the agency happened to be her father. Her reasons for creating the day, however apply to everyone. She wanted help improve work relationships by having employees look at the challenges their bosses face in running a business. Staff members should recognize that their bosses are people, too. 

Many of us do realize this, and would like to find a gift to show our appreciation for all that our bosses do. The immediate task is finding something for Bosses Day, but we’ll soon be faced with this issue again when it’s time to choose gifts for business colleagues and clients for the holidays. For business relationships, it takes some creativity to find gifts that are friendly but not too familiar. Seeing bosses as people can take you in two directions: 

You may decide the best gift to show appreciation for your leader could be something that will make their day’s work easier, or a little more fun, throughout the year. You may have a type “A” go-getter boss, who’d like next year’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” desk calendar, an accessory for their Palm Pilot, or a mobile office desk they can use in their car. Perhaps you work with a lower-key type “B”, who’d enjoy a stress-relief tape, or a book by Dr. Phil on healthy workplace relationships. Nowadays, most offices are headed by a manager who’s type “D”, meaning they’re “D”ragging by the end of the week. Maybe they could use a coffee-lover’s gift package in a giant cup-shaped basket to give them a caffeine and humor pick-me-up. If they have to keep close track of time, make it a bit more fun with a desk clock made from a race-car steering wheel, or billiard ball. If they’re chained to their computer finishing reports at the end of each month, maybe a heart-shaped “I Love Lucy” mousepad, or a leather one in the shape of home plate will help them get through. 

Instead of concentrating on the workplace, you may want to give something that acknowledges your boss has a life outside of the office. Give them something to enjoy and use to recharge their batteries on their off time. A low-tech paper novel they can sit down and read with snacks or a cup of tea might be a relished retreat. You could get the gang to pitch in on tickets to a theater or concert event your boss wouldn’t splurge on for him- or herself. Busy workers are forced to be just weekend warriors when it comes to their favorite games. Help them get the most out of their playing time with golf practice aids, a couple of tennis lessons, or a deluxe poker set. Great gadgets for all hobbyists are now available. Electronic guides for everything from wines, sports trivia, gardening—you name it—will make them an instant expert. 

You can recognize your boss’s individuality with a conventional gift as well. Gift baskets don’t have to be a generic collection of fruits and cheeses. Order a custom basket full of sentimental goodies from your supervisor’s home state, like Buckeyes in an Ohio-shaped basket, or packed with memorabilia from the college team they support. There are plenty of care packages with non-traditional treats for a non-traditional boss. A basket for a cinema buff will have a movie rental gift card, popcorn, and real movie-theater size candy. Not a gourmet cracker in sight. 

If you keep in mind that you’re buying for a person, not a position, you’ll have a much easier time thinking of an appropriate gift. This is true when choosing gifts for any business colleague, client, or staff, but especially for your boss. 

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CLEANING HAZARDS 

One of the most common home accidents is the mixing of cleaning products that contain chlorine bleach with those that contain ammonia.  

When chlorine and ammonia are mixed together, a gas called “chloramines” is produced that is highly irritating to the lungs and causes coughing and choking. Chlorine bleach also produces dangerous chlorine gas if mixed with an acid product like toilet-bowl cleaner or rust remover. Be sure to read labels carefully before using any of these substances.  

A sale alternative to toxic cleaners can be made using substances commonly found around the home, such as baking soda, salt, distilled white vinegar, liquid soap and vegetable oil. 

Remember to keep all cleaning products out of the reach of the children, and visit the Take Heart Website for safe cleaning recipes. 

Source: Washington Toxics Coalition
www.hopehealth.com 

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Be a Blood Donor
“Saving the world isn’t easy. Saving a life is.” Every two seconds someone needs blood. On any given day, an average of 38,000 units of red blood cells are needed for trauma victims – due to accidents and burns – heart surgery, organ transplants and patients receiving treatment for leukemia, cancer or other diseases, such as sickle cell disease. Your gift of life can save up to three lives. Donation is a safe process.  

North Branch
The Centre
1416 South Rangeline Road
Carmel, IN 46032
(317)844-0313
Monday, Wednesday, Thursday
9:00 am to 6:00 pm
Tuesday 9:00 am to 8:00 pm
Friday 7 am to 4 pm
Saturday 8:00 am to Noon 

www.bloodsaves.com
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Moving With Kids 

How to Make it Easier For Them
by Katharine Canfield 

Moving can be as challenging as it is exciting. Sometimes more so. Moving is as hard for kids as it is for adults. They, too, are leaving behind familiar places and important friends. They, too, are starting over: seeking new friends and adjusting to a new home, neighborhood, and school. But because they're still learning how to socialize and how to effectively get their needs met, children need caring adults to listen and help them adjust to their new home, now more than ever. 

If you're a parent contemplating a move, this article's for you. By considering a move in three stages - before, during, and after - and thinking about your children's needs during each stage, you can make a big difference in how your kids feel about the move and how they adjust afterwards. 

Before the move: Preparing 

During the move: Remembering What's Important 

After the move: Getting Settled  

BEFORE THE MOVE:
Preparing 

Tell your children about the move as soon as you can. The more time they have to think about and prepare for the move, the easier it will be for them.  

Give your children a chance to express their feelings, and try to be honest about your own feelings. Most children will feel some anger, sadness, or worry about the move. These responses are natural, and kids who have a chance to express them will work through their doubts more easily. Gently tell your children about any sadness you may feel about leaving or uncertainty about a new home, job, or city. This will reassure them that they aren't alone in having worries or concerns.  

Help older children prepare a list of phone numbers and addresses of close friends, relatives, and other important people in their lives. Knowing they can stay in touch with these people is an important part of a successful move.  

If your kids are old enough, let them participate in decision making. Have the kids keep a notebook of potential new homes with the positives and the negatives listed.
If you are able to, before you move take your children to your new home and explore the new neighborhood and town or city together. If this isn't possible, take pictures of your new home, the schools your kids will attend, a nearby park, and anything else that would be interesting to them.  

Make a scrapbook containing pictures of your pre-move home, friends, and other mementos of your life together.  

Call the principal of your children's schools, and try to set up a meeting with their teachers or, if they're in junior high or high school, guidance counselor. The new school may even be able to give you names of students in your child's class who live near your new home. If so, you may want to drop by to meet them and their families before you move in.  

Try to line up some activities in which your child can participate after the move: a sports team, music lessons, art classes, a scouting troop. Not only will activities like these keep your children involved; they'll also help them to feel like part of a group - an important aspect of settling in. Try to sign up for more than one activity in case one falls through or doesn't go well.  

If you can, try to meet families in your new neighborhood before you move. Being familiar with people when you move in will help your children feel more at home.  

DURING THE MOVE:
Remembering What's Important  

Throughout the move, stay as upbeat and calm as you can; a good plan makes this possible. Your own mood will impact other family members, especially babies, who are particularly sensitive to their mother's feelings. With older children, it's important to be honest about some of the uncertainties you have, but also to be generally optimistic about the move and the positive ways it will affect the family.
Involve your kids in the packing. Older kids can put their own belongings in boxes, and kids of all ages will enjoy decorating the boxes containing their things. Doing so will also make finding your children's things easier once you're at the new house!  

Try to stick to your routines. Have meals at the same times as always. If your kids nap, encourage them to lie down at the usual time. Keep to the normal bedtimes.  

Don't pack things that your children treasure. Take special blankets, beloved stuffed animals, favorite books, and other prized items in a separate bag or box that you can bring with you in the car or on the plane when you go to your new home.  

Help your children say good bye to the important people in their lives. For their friends, a pizza or make-your-own sundae party is a fun way to celebrate the friendship. An album or poster with photos of good times together will add to the celebration. If your children are comfortable, encourage hugs at the end of the party. With neighbors or other special adults, you may want to set up a time to stop by and say good bye as a family.  

Expect the unexpected: few moves go smoothly, anticipate trouble (predict it!) and have a positive, "can do" attitude.  

AFTER THE MOVE:
Getting Settled 

Don't spend too much time unpacking - at least not right away! Sure, the essentials are important to unload and you want the house to feel settled. But wait on the less important stuff. In the first few days, take time to enjoy your new home with your family. Take walks. Check out local restaurants and take-out spots. Introduce yourselves to your new neighbors. Spend time at the park.  

Be on the look-out for neighborhood kids, and help introduce your children to them. If it's comfortable for you and your children, invite some of the neighborhood kids over for pizza or a video.  

Let your children have some input in planning on the new house, especially in choosing things to buy for their rooms. Even if you don't follow through on their ideas, it's important to listen to what they think. Be tactful if you choose another option, and let some decisions be entirely up to them - for example, the placement of their bed or the color of the rug or paint in their bedroom.  

Get involved: church groups, synagogues, YMCA and activity clubs, etc. enable socializing. If a couple of months have gone by and your child seems unusually troubled, ask a doctor, guidance counselor, or principal if you need a referral. Signs that your child may need help: unusual academic difficulty; ongoing irritability; trouble with peers; changes in sleep or eating habits; a generally despondent mood. Give them time, this behavior can last for 4-5 months for teens.  

Above all, listen. Try to be there when your kids get home after the first day at their new schools, even if it means having to leave work early that day. Regularly ask how things are going, and take time to listen. Sometimes kids have a hard time opening up; spending relaxed time together may help them to bring up whatever is on their minds.  

For children and adults, it takes time to feel at home. With your understanding and patience, your children will be reassured that, after a while, things will get easier; everything won't feel so new; and that home is, after all, wherever the family is.
For more information on moving with children and moving in general, see the book Smart Moves: Your Guide through the Emotional Maze of Relocation by Nadia Jensen, Audrey McCollum, and Stuart Copans. Smith & Krauss. To order a copy for $16.95, call 1-800-895-4331. The ISBN is 1575250861. 

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Declutter 15 Minutes a Day - 5 Great Tools That Make it Easy! 

Your home is filled with clutter of all shapes and sizes. This is why you are unable to keep it clean. You have too much STUFF. All we ask is that you set a timer and spend 15 minutes a day decluttering. That's it. Anyone can do anything for only 15 minutes, even if you have to break it down into 5 minutes segments. These are the five tools we give you to help you declutter and also make it fun for you! When you get the e-mail reminders/checklists from FlyLady, try them yourself. What do you have to lose (besides clutter LOL!)?  

The 27-Fling Boogie 

We do this assignment as fast as we can. Take a garbage bag and walk through your home and throw away 27 items. Do not stop until you have collected all 27 items. Then close the garbage bag and pitch it. DO NOT LOOK IN IT!!! Just do it. 

Next, take an empty box and go through your home collecting 27 items to give away. Suze Orman taught me this in her book, The Courage to be Rich. This will change the energy in your home and bring about good feelings. Every time I do this I feel better and my home is becoming decluttered in the process. As soon as you finish filling the box, take it to the car. You are less tempted to rescue the items. 

Rule of thumb: if you have two of any item and you only need one, get rid of the least desirable.  

I also sing a wonderful song as I am doing this fun job: "Please Release Me, Let Me Go" as sung from the stuff's point of view. 

The Hot Spot Fire Drill 

Here is a problem that we all have and continue to struggle with - Hot Spots. What is a hot spot? 

A hot spot is an area, when left unattended will gradually take over. My favorite analogy is of a hot spot in a forest fire, if left alone, it will eventually get out of hand and burn up the whole forest. This is what happens in our homes. If left unattended, the hot spot will grow and take over the whole room as well as making the house look awful. When you walk into a room, this is the first thing you see.  

CLUTTER ATTRACTS CLUTTER! 

Do you have areas like this that continue to grow if left alone? Does the rest of the family see this as a place to put things when they do not want to put them where they belong? It is our job to nip this in the bud! Get rid of that pile, find the surface underneath and stop this Hot Spot from becoming a raging clutter inferno! Watch for the Hot Spot fire drill reminder - then try it - it works!  

The 5 Minute Room Rescue 

This is a reminder to spend just 5 minutes clearing a path in your worst room. You know this area of your home: the place you would never allow anyone to see. Just 5 minutes a day for the next 27 days and you will have a place that you can be proud to take anyone! 

Visit www.FlyLady.net 

Request our Free Carmel, Fishers and Westfield Relocation Package. It's packed full of useful and important information about the Carmel, Fishers and Westfield, Indiana area. Don't move here without it! Remember: we'll send it to you for free and without obligation. Just fill out the form and we will send it right out... 

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